One of the most difficult issues adult children confront is reconciling their parents' independence with their long-term interests, particularly if we believe they are making poor choices. Whether your parents are struggling to maintain their home, manage their finances, or just stay well, there is frequently some disagreement between what parents desire and what their adult children believe they need. How can you assist your parents if they do not believe they require in-home care assistance?
When Do Your Parents Need Help?
If your parents have not yet reached this stage, now is the time to begin taking steps to simplify future care decisions. You can think about in-home care together and figure out what you both think is necessary for the future. You can discuss with your parents establishing a power of attorney while they are still mentally competent, to select someone they trust to carry out their requests for care, finances, and other matters if they become unable to manage such decisions. Here are some things to consider before you keep reading.
Seniors Can Do What They Want If They’re Rational
Unless your parents are declared legally incapable, which is extremely rare, they have the right to make their own decisions. Regardless of how much protection you believe your parents require, you must persuade them, not tell them what to do. If you're concerned about your parents living alone, managing their money, or needing further assistance, find allies in their clergy, doctors, family and friends, and anybody else who cares about their well-being and get on the same page.
Their Quality of Life Should Matter
Assisting your parents in properly aging on their terms is one of life's greatest difficulties. Consider it a collaborative, continuing conversation.
Independence Means Different Things To Seniors
For instance, suppose your mother falls at home, injures her foot, and waits a week to see a doctor. You may interpret this as poor judgment, fearful that she may have fractured a bone. She may view it as prudent because she is awaiting the outcome of the injury.
Remember Your Relationship Is Important
For starters, they will always regard you as their child, regardless of how much older and wiser you have become. Simply because you believe the roles are flipped does not mean they do.
When Your Parents Need Help At Home
The indicators that your parents require assistance around the house can be subtle, such as changes in their cooking and housekeeping habits. If you notice that mail is piling up, new clutter is accumulating, or laundry is heaping up in baskets where it was previously neater, this could be an indication that forgetfulness or mobility concerns are taking hold. Another telltale clue that your parents require assistance at home is rotting food. If you frequently discover expired dairy and meat in the refrigerator, as well as pest-infested pantry items, your parents may be unable to read expiration dates correctly or may be skipping meals.This is a sign you should mention the benefits of in-home care for your parent.
If your parent seems hesitant about in-home care, try pointing out all of the things they can do to help the senior so they have more time to spend on things they love rather than chores. This is a good way to help them understand the value of in-home care without making them feel like they are losing their independence.