There’s probably not an adult alive who won’t confess to their parents driving them bananas during childhood and adolescence! Our parents usually live to embarrass us during those years! As we become adults, the tables begin turning as our parents start aging, and in some cases, we even become caretakers for parents who begin having cognitive impairments like dementia or Alzheimer’s. It can be tough on everybody when seniors know they have memory loss and can’t do anything about it. Even though they may seem checked out, it’s SO important to be careful of what we say around them. Here are a few tips to help you remember what NOT to say to your aging parents.

1. “This isn’t hard—why are you struggling to do this?”

No matter what age you are, nobody wants to be talked down to or made to feel they aren’t performing tasks normally. Many seniors will struggle with even basic tasks during these years and remarks like this just go to deepen their sense of rejection and frustration. The better alternative would be to exercise patience and explain things differently or write out instructions for tasks they may forget. A patient word goes a long way here.

2. “You’ve already told me that.” or “We’ve already been through this.”

By nature, aging seniors often become forgetful. If they have been diagnosed with cognitive decline, you will most likely hear them repeating things over and over again. While this can be frustrating, try to keep in mind that they don’t remember telling you the same thing, so for them, it seems like fresh information. Often, family members with dementia hold dear to their memories and like to talk about them with those they love. For them, this is therapeutic. Just be kind and smile as you listen to that memory—again! Find some humor here—it’s good for everyone!

3. “How can you not remember your own family member’s name?”

All of us struggle to remember names at times, and your parents are different. If they suffer from dementia or Alzheimer’s remembering names becomes stressful. Even their own child’s name. Don’t take this personally or correct them in a sarcastic tone. Gently remind them who is who and move on.

4. “What does this have to do with anything?”

If your parents bring up seemingly random stories that have nothing to do with the current conversation, you must remember that they often have a reason, even if we have no idea what it is. In this situation, you can try asking them what made them think of that particular story or memory. They will probably be able to tell you once you patiently ask what their thought process was.

5. “I want your money/heirloom/house when you die.”

It might seem obvious but saying a line like this is NOT the way to bring up a will or possible inheritance. As parents age, the adult children often begin wondering what they will get when the parent dies. While it’s ok to have that conversation, it should never be done in an insensitive manner. Nobody wants to think people are just waiting for them to die so they can get their money or possessions. Sometimes common sense goes a long way here!

Along with what not to say, here are a couple of things not to do when you are with your aging parents.

Don’t speak for them 

Don’t talk over your parents or try to speak for them. This is especially true when you are at a doctor visit or talking to a member of their care team. Unless your parent cannot speak for themselves, you should never communicate for them unless it is a crisis. Your parents need to retain the right to speak for themselves and maintain their dignity and control for as long as possible.

Don’t “play along” with memory loss

It’s not uncommon for seniors with dementia to become confused. They may think they are in a different period of life or that they can call a loved one who passed away years ago. It’s very important not to play along in these cases. Doing this will only go to confuse their sense of reality. It might seem easier to just play along, but it is not a healthy thing to do. Instead, gently remind them of the facts they are confused about.

Contact us today for more tips on communicating with aging parents!

Home Helpers of the Mid Ohio Valley is a locally-owned, trusted home health care agency and offers quality, compassionate senior in-home care services including home care assistance, personal care, companion care, respite care, 24-hour home care, Alzheimer’s & dementia care, Parkinson’s care. post-operative home care as well as homemaker services in the Mid Ohio Valley including the West Virginia cities of Parkersburg, Williamstown, Vienna, Mineral Wells, Elizabeth, Washington, Belleville, Ravenswood, Ripley, Waverly, Belmont, Rockport, Davisville, and Lubeck, and the Ohio cities of Marietta, Belpre, Newport, Vincent, Little Hocking, Coolville, Athens, The Plains, Reno, and Devola.

Legal Disclaimer
This blog provides general information and discussions about medicine, health, and related subjects. The words and other content provided in this blog, and in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice. If the reader or any other person has a medical concern, he or she should consult with an appropriately-licensed physician or other healthcare workers.

Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog or in any linked materials. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately.

The views expressed on this blog and website have no relation to those of any academic, hospital, practice or other institution with which may have been mentioned or linked to in the article.

It’s funny how technology has literally changed the way we all live, and yet those who may need it most are the most reluctant to use it—seniors and the elderly. While it might seem like an impossible task to help the senior in your life learn and embrace new technology, it may just be a life-saving action. Here’s why …

Smart Home Technology Can Change the Game for Keeping Seniors Safe at Home

Think about the various smart technologies that have been made easy to access in recent years: 

• Video intercom systems, which let a senior inside the home talk to and see someone outside before they come in. Nobody would argue that this is safer!
• Thermostats set automatically. A senior’s central air and heat can be set to automatically come on, so they don’t have to worry about adjusting it themselves. This is also useful if they are away from the home for any length of time.
• Smart technology for lights. This is another way that helps seniors lower their utility bills and save money on that pesky light bill. It also adds to their sense of safety. Smart lights work off sensors and come on and go off as someone enters or leaves a room. This can be especially helpful in preventing injuries that could come from searching for a light switch in the dark during the night.

Technology Helps Seniors Stay Safer

Here’s one of the best parts about smart technology—it can be managed from cell phones or other smart devices. Smart alarms are one such technology. You can control and change the alarm system far beyond it just going off when no one is at home. The smart alarm will track the times the doors are usually opened with people coming and going and send an alert if something is out of the ordinary. If you have a senior loved one who wanders, this can bring a huge peace of mind.

Smart smoke alarms are another fantastic technology for seniors. If the smoke alarm with smart technology is activated, it will alert proper authorities or family to make sure the senior is safe. You will be able to program a list of people to notify in this instance, which adds more layers of safety and assurance for your senior loved one.

You probably already know about personal alert systems. The less sophisticated systems might conjure the old commercials of elderly people wearing a necklace with a big button that they can push if they are in a crisis of any kind. However, the new smart technology keeps seniors even safer by utilizing full detection for falls and other odd movements. It also will alert proper emergency response personnel, along with a customized list of family and friends.

Technology Can Help Seniors Stay Socially Connected

Research tells us that one of the top reasons that seniors decline in health is depression and loneliness. This is especially true if family lives far away. The internet has now provided ways for seniors to not only hear the voice of their loved ones but also see their faces in real time as they chat! Social media has allowed the world to reconnect with long-lost relatives and friends that probably would have never found us otherwise. Imagine the joy this would bring to seniors to be able to enjoy meaningful conversation with old friends. There’s no better therapy!

It might be a bit tough to help your older adult embrace these different forms of smart technology, but if you are patient and take the time to demonstrate to the senior in your life just HOW these technologies can empower them, enrich their lives, and keep them safer, we just bet they will be open to considering it! The old phrase, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, has never been more untrue!

To find out even more ways to get your senior loved one connected with smart technology, call or contact us today!

Home Helpers of the Mid Ohio Valley is a locally-owned, trusted home health care agency and offers quality, compassionate senior in-home care services including home care assistance, personal care, companion care, respite care, 24-hour home care, Alzheimer’s & dementia care, Parkinson’s care. post-operative home care as well as homemaker services in the Mid Ohio Valley including the West Virginia cities of Parkersburg, Williamstown, Vienna, Mineral Wells, Elizabeth, Washington, Belleville, Ravenswood, Ripley, Waverly, Belmont, Rockport, Davisville, and Lubeck, and the Ohio cities of Marietta, Belpre, Newport, Vincent, Little Hocking, Coolville, Athens, The Plains, Reno, and Devola.

Legal Disclaimer
This blog provides general information and discussions about medicine, health, and related subjects. The words and other content provided in this blog, and in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice. If the reader or any other person has a medical concern, he or she should consult with an appropriately-licensed physician or other healthcare workers.

Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog or in any linked materials. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately.

The views expressed on this blog and website have no relation to those of any academic, hospital, practice or other institution with which may have been mentioned or linked to in the article.

One of the most stressful situations you will ever face is making critical decisions for someone you love. It is very natural to feel strongly about your opinion and feel angry or threatened when others disagree. This stress can easily be compounded when those who disagree with you are your own siblings.

Disputes among siblings are very common when it comes to providing care for an elderly parent. The good news is that there are ways to handle this situation without tearing the family apart.

Why Siblings Disagree
Sibling relationships are built on strong feelings of love and bonding. Brothers and sisters typically have the strongest relationship and the healthiest bond, but that intimacy and love can come with disagreement on how certain situations should be handled.

When it comes to the care of elderly parents, here are a few reasons disagreements happen among siblings:

Feelings of Resentment
There are times that one sibling is resentful of the relationship or connection that a brother or sister has with the elderly parent. This can be a situation that has been present since childhood, or it can be a situation that surfaced during adulthood in which one sibling seems to be closer to the parent than the other. This can arise because of physical distance or because of feelings that one has towards another.

Also, when one sibling has been responsible for most of the care, they may be resentful when another sibling thinks they should be equal in the decision-making process. The sibling that has cared for the parent might feel like they have the right to make the final decision for the elderly parent.

How Money Should be Spent
Spending money on the care of an elderly parent is another reason that siblings disagree. There might be jealous or hard feelings among siblings if one has more money and resources than the other. Many times, the sibling with less resources can find themselves embarrassed because they don’t have access to what they need to help. In this situation, they may find themselves keeping their true financial situation a secret.

Siblings can also be torn between finding a facility that offers the basic care and no extras or one that has everything you could ever think about giving your parents.

Differing Personalities Among Siblings
Many times, even as adults siblings find themselves filling the same roles they did as a child. One may be the caregiver while another takes on the role as the leader. The sibling with the role of a caregiver may feel like they are the one always coming to the recuse and solving all the problems. The one who tends to be the leader will find themselves demanding that they have the final say in all situations. Remaining in the roles may come so naturally that they don’t even realize that they are doing it.

Trouble and conflict will arise when siblings want to change roles or when one person decides they don’t want to fall into the same role they have always taken on.

Strategies for Handling Disputes Among Siblings
There are many ways to go about handling disputes among the siblings. One way and probably the easiest is to agree that the most popular decision will be the way to go. Each sibling can give an opinion, and each sibling can have a vote. The least popular way is to agree that one person will be responsible for the final decision. Normally this role would fall on the sibling that the others trust and respect the most.

Don’t Hesitate to Ask for Help
When a decision cannot be agreed upon, it is best to call in a mediator to help you sort things out to make sure that everyone is heard.

A senior care representative is a person who will listen to all sides and each sibling. After each is heard, they will give an unbiased and educated recommendation based on what is best for the elderly parent. Calling on a senior care representative will ensure that all needs are met and will mediate the proceedings.

• The representative will offer suggestions based on the needs of the elderly parent.
• The representative will keep the family on topic, reminding them that they are making the best decision for the parent.
• The representative will stop the meeting if participants begin to get emotional, violent or abusive.

Disagreeing about the care of an elderly parent is not uncommon, but when the siblings have the parent’s best interest in mind, a plan can be made. The help of a senior care representative can be very instrumental in bringing everyone together for the good of your parent.

For more information on caring for an elderly parent or to learn more about getting help from a senior care representative, please contact us.

Home Helpers of the Mid Ohio Valley is a locally-owned, trusted home health care agency and offers quality, compassionate senior in-home care services including home care assistance, personal care, companion care, respite care, 24-hour home care, Alzheimer’s & dementia care, Parkinson’s care. post-operative home care as well as homemaker services in the Mid Ohio Valley including the West Virginia cities of Parkersburg, Williamstown, Vienna, Mineral Wells, Elizabeth, Washington, Belleville, Ravenswood, Ripley, Waverly, Belmont, Rockport, Davisville, and Lubeck, and the Ohio cities of Marietta, Belpre, Newport, Vincent, Little Hocking, Coolville, Athens, The Plains, Reno, and Devola.

Legal Disclaimer
This blog provides general information and discussions about medicine, health, and related subjects. The words and other content provided in this blog, and in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice. If the reader or any other person has a medical concern, he or she should consult with an appropriately-licensed physician or other healthcare workers.

Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog or in any linked materials. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately.

The views expressed on this blog and website have no relation to those of any academic, hospital, practice or other institution with which may have been mentioned or linked to in the article.