Delivering bad news is tough, no matter who it is. It’s especially tough when you must deliver it to a family member or senior parents. Our tips can help you know how to talk about negative news with honesty and compassion. Read on for more info….

Whether it’s financial problems, onset of disease, a death in the family, or several other topics, there’s never an easy way to give bad news to anyone. If your senior parents have dementia or are otherwise in poor health, the challenge can be even greater.

How to Prepare for Tough Conversations

You should think through the news you need to deliver and do some preparation. The person you are delivering bad news to will also need a moment to be prepared. A very helpful way to get prepared is to write the details of the news down and everything you know about it. Think about the questions that will likely be asked of you and try to get as many answers as you can ahead of time. Reading this info back to a trusted friend can help you clarify your thoughts. Remember—your senior parents or many other elderly people for that matter, are likely far more at ease with issues about dying than we want to believe. The more comfortable you come across with the topic at hand, the better the conversation will go.

A Few Tips When Talking About Bad News with Senior Parents

It’s important to be very clear in your communication. Of course, you need to be sensitive to the needs of the person receiving the news and go slowly if you need to. This is especially true when discussing a death in the family. Use comforting language and encouraging words, reassuring them that you will be there for them.

It can be helpful to consider your phrasing when delivering bad news or sensitive information. It will convey your compassion if you start your sentences with “I.” Consider the following examples:

• I’m afraid I have some tough news to talk about….
• I have something very important to tell you….
• I think we need to discuss a difficult topic….
• I’m hoping….
• I’m fearing….
• I wish I had different news to tell you….

Bad news can have all sorts of reactions, so it’s important to give your loved one the space they need to absorb the information and react however they need to. They may be angry, burst into tears or just have tons of questions. Consider their needs as you deliver the news.

Delivering Bad News to Senior Parents with Dementia or Alzheimer’s

Things can get a little more tricky when dementia or Alzheimer’s comes into play. It’s not uncommon for them to forget a relative has died and they might bring that person up in conversation. This leaves you wondering whether you should constantly remind them that the person is deceased. After all, we don’t want to cause pain over and over. Some people even make the mistake of not telling them about a death at all, thinking it’s the most compassionate thing to do. But seniors with dementia need the truth and they need help processing it, even if it takes several tries. You may have to gently remind them often about the same piece of news.

You may also find that they ask frequently where a person is who has recently died. You might say something like, “They’re ok now. How are you feeling about them not being here anymore?” Often, this will trigger a memory of a previous conversation and allow them to talk about how they feel. You can use that time to remind them that their loved one who has passed on is safe and at peace. Use this time also to reassure them that you will always be there to talk to. Their memories may vary and this may affect how they process bad news.

It’s never easy to deliver bad news to senior parents, but with these tips and a lot of love and compassion, it can be much easier than you think. Contact us today for more information.

Home Helpers of Bloomingdale and Wheaton is a locally-owned, trusted home health care agency and offers quality, compassionate senior in-home care services including home care assistance, personal care, companion care, respite care, Alzheimer’s & dementia care as well as homemaker services in Aurora, Bloomingdale, Hoffman Estates, Hanover Park, Wheaton, Bartlett, Itasca, Medinah, Naperville, Plainfield, Roselle, Schaumburg, Warrenville, Mooseheart, West Chicago, and Winfield.

It’s a hard decision to make. When do you take the car keys away from the senior in your life? While many things go into this decision, getting input from your loved one’s doctor, as well as any other caregivers, can make it a little easier. This way you won’t be making the choice alone.

Here are a few things to think about when considering the right time for your senior loved one to stop driving:

What is their physical capability? The skill of driving requires dexterity, fast response time, quick reflexes and the ability to multi-task. If they can still do all this, make sure they have strength in their feet for the pedals, as well as the ability to sit at the proper height.

Check their vision. It’s really important that you get a thorough eye exam for your senior. Check for glaucoma, cataracts or just blurred vision.

How is their physical endurance? Our bodies are always best when we are in motion. If your senior loved one has little mobility or doesn’t exercise, their bodies will not be as agile as they need to be.

Think about their medications. Many medicines cause side effects and a big one for driving is drowsiness. Be sure that their medications do not carry side effects that would have a negative impact on their cognitive ability.

Do they have diseases? The main thing you’re looking for here is mental impairment. If your senior loved one has been diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer’s Disease, it may be time to take the keys. If they aren’t showing any signs of confusion, then they may be fine for a while. You should also check for diabetes, as this can have serious effects if not managed.

In addition to all of these things, consider the following points to help you make an informed decision:

• Near misses while driving, or even accidents
• Sudden changes in personality
• Chronic health problems such as diabetes
• Medication changes
• Alcohol intake
• Multiple traffic violations

Finally, be sure you understand your state laws concerning senior driving. There are restrictions, so take the time to understand them. Talk to their doctor and ask for help making this all-important decision. Remember—they are there to help!

If the time has come to take away the car keys, make sure you do it with love and empathy. Allow your senior’s dignity to remain intact by arranging another source of transportation when they need it. If they live alone, this may include a taxi or a bus pass.

It’s never an easy decision to take the keys because it’s such a symbol of freedom. Just think back to how nervous your parents must have been when you were learning to drive! Clear communication and empathy will go a long way in easing the tension around taking away the car keys. Your senior loved one’s safety is of utmost importance here! If possible, allow them to help make the decision. If they are a part of the process, things will most likely go a lot smoother.

It’s tough to remove any measure of control from our loved ones. While it’s never easy, it is important to consider not just their safety, but also the safety of others on the road. You may very well be avoiding a tragic accident by being willing to remove the keys when the time is right.

For more tips for seniors, visit our Home Helpers senior home care blog.

Home Helpers of Bloomingdale and Wheaton is a locally-owned, trusted home health care agency and offers quality, compassionate senior in-home care services including home care assistance, personal care, companion care, respite care, Alzheimer’s & dementia care as well as homemaker services in Aurora, Bloomingdale, Hoffman Estates, Hanover Park, Wheaton, Bartlett, Itasca, Medinah, Naperville, Plainfield, Roselle, Schaumburg, Warrenville, Mooseheart, West Chicago, and Winfield.

There’s no doubt about it—the holiday season is the busiest of the year and can throw our normal routines into chaos. For seniors who deal with Alzheimer’s, this change of routine can be quite stressful. With all the traditions of family, visits from relatives, and endless activities, It can be exhausting for old and young alike! Here are a few tips to help seniors with Alzheimer’s find the holidays more enjoyable:

1. Minimize Your Stress
Seniors who live with Alzheimer’s disease are often far more aware and sensitive to the feelings and moods of others. They are likely to feed off your stress and anxiety and feel the same thing. This often leads to behavior that is difficult to deal with and tough to bounce back from, ultimately just adding to your overall stress.

While you can’t get rid of all stress factors in your life, just stay focused on making your schedule through the holidays manageable and don’t take on too many obligations. Consider hiring help to come in to help care for the senior in your life, or ask other family members to help shoulder the load. Above all, find your voice and say no to things that are not in the best interest of all parties involved.

If you start feeling overwhelmed by holiday stress, step away for a couple of minutes and just do some deep breathing. This may even mean going to the bathroom where you can be alone!

2. Consider Modifying Some Family Traditions
Trying to do everything the way it’s always been done might not be the best plan when caring for a senior with Alzheimer’s. Consider the traditions of your family during the holidays and think about what you can modify or simplify in order to carry less stress and responsibility. The main thing is to find things that the senior in your life could still enjoy and feel connected to, without putting tons of pressure on you. Think about what really matters and trim everything else back!

Don’t be afraid to ask your senior adult about the traditions they love and value. They usually love to talk about these things and it often provides great comfort and joy to them. It also allows them to feel they matter in holiday decisions and traditions, such as being involved with decorating the tree or which baked goodies to have. Everyone loves to feel close and connected during the holidays and seniors with Alzheimer’s are no different!

3. Involve Your Senior Adult in the Holiday Preparations
Finding ways to involve your senior adult in the various preparations for the holiday celebrations is a great way for them to feel connected and have a sense of belonging. Including them will help them feel reminded that they matter and are not forgotten during this special time. It also allows them to get a sense of what’s going on in the days ahead. They may only be able to do small tasks, but if you focus on specific activities, they will surely enjoy spending time with you. Tell family stories and bond as much as possible during these moments! Most seniors living with Alzheimer’s just want to feel heard and understood. Doing these things will help them remember their voice is not lost.

Here are a few great activities to do together:

• Rolling dough and baking Christmas cookies
• Peeling carrots and potatoes
• Dusting or wiping down the dining room table
• Polishing silver
• Gift wrapping
• Simple decorating tasks

The main thing is to pay attention to what brings them joy. Even if they don’t do the neatest job, if they are finding pleasure in helping with these tasks, let them do it. You can supervise and even touch up things that need it later.

4. Simply Your Decorating
Often, seniors find the decorations, trees, lights and other sparkling objects all around to be over-stimulating. Consider how you can reduce the clutter of over-decorating and make sure the overall appearance of the home doesn’t change too much, as this can be stressful for older adults. The main focus should be what reminds them of happy memories.

Finally, remember that the goal above all is to reduce the stress on you as well as the senior in your life. The happiness they will have in the moment will stay with them, even if they don’t remember the activities later.

We hope you have a safe and happy holiday season. If you need any help caring for a loved one, please call us. For more information on Alzheimer’s Care, click here.

Home Helpers of Bloomingdale and Wheaton is a locally-owned, trusted home health care agency and offers quality, compassionate senior in-home care services including home care assistance, personal care, companion care, respite care, Alzheimer’s & dementia care as well as homemaker services in Aurora, Bloomingdale, Hoffman Estates, Hanover Park, Wheaton, Bartlett, Itasca, Medinah, Naperville, Plainfield, Roselle, Schaumburg, Warrenville, Mooseheart, West Chicago, and Winfield.

No one wants to talk about end of life issues. Especially if those issues involve a beloved aging senior who isn’t near the end of his life. But no matter how hesitant family members might be to broach the subject, either because they find the subject awkward or in poor taste, it’s crucial that a living will be discussed and legally documented while your senior is still able to make known his or her wishes for end of life care! If your loved one is already unable to state coherently his or her wishes, then talk with siblings or other family members. Make and document the decisions you choose together.

Seniors, caregivers, and family members benefit from having a living will in place. Older adults often are relieved to have their end of life wishes known. Many seniors do not want their families to be burdened with having to make these difficult decisions during a sudden health crisis. Also, the burden of worrying that their wishes won’t be followed is removed.

A living will is a legal document which clearly lists a person’s stated wishes for end of life care. It may also be called a healthcare directive or an advance directive. The terms of the living will influence doctors and family members when they must decide on medical treatment for patients unable to communicate or no longer able to decide for themselves.

A living will and a medical Power of Attorney often work together. Some states combine the two into one document. Your senior can choose someone legally to make medical decisions for them. Sometimes that person is called the health care agent. They might also be called the proxy for health care decisions.

A living will documents specifically what end of life treatments are acceptable to your older adult and which ones they refuse. Usually, a living will will include a senior’s preferences for treatments such as CPR, mechanical ventilation (breathing by machine), tube feeding, dialysis, antibiotics or antiviral meds, palliative care (keeping the patient as comfortable and pain-free as possible. A senior may refuse any invasive treatments or tests, or may choose to have their medical Power of Attorney make those decisions about tests, etc., on an as-needed basis.

In a living will, end of life care directives often include seniors’ wishes for after end of life. Many seniors want to donate organs and tissue for others awaiting transplants. They may also wish to donate their bodies for scientific study. These two issues may be perhaps the most difficult to broach with your senior, but it is important that you do so.

When considering a living will for your senior, be sure to read the “fine print.” Having a living will takes the guesswork out of the decision making of end of life care. It protects caregivers or family members from the stress of trying to honor wishes which were not made clear to them and it should prevent arguments about the patient’s end of life care among family members and caregivers.

If seniors want a non-family member or an unmarried partner to be in charge of their end of life care, they have to put in place both a living will and a medical Power of Attorney. Otherwise, HIPPA laws will prevent doctors from even speaking to them about your older adult’s care.

Different states have different laws for living wills. Some states may require only the living will whereas another may require both a living will and a medical Power of Attorney. Make sure to use the correct form for your state. You can find links on the website for The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization. Choose the “Caring” section. That link refers to the living will as an Advance Directive.

For more helpful information, visit our website, click here.

Home Helpers of Bloomingdale and Wheaton is a locally-owned, trusted home health care agency and offers quality, compassionate senior in-home care services including home care assistance, personal care, companion care, respite care, Alzheimer’s & dementia care as well as homemaker services in Aurora, Bloomingdale, Hoffman Estates, Hanover Park, Wheaton, Bartlett, Itasca, Medinah, Naperville, Plainfield, Roselle, Schaumburg, Warrenville, Mooseheart, West Chicago, and Winfield.

A newborn’s homecoming is often preceded by a frenzy of childproofing. However, caregivers often do not see to seniorproofing the home until after a scare or injury occurs. Or they are not sure how to go about making the home a safe environment for aging loved ones, especially those who need care for disease or recuperative issues, or for decreased cognitive ability.

Below you will find some simple ways to make your home safer and more convenient for your aging loved ones.

Lighting
Light that is adequate for younger adults often is not adequate for older adults, many of whom have decreased vision due to aging or to health problems such as diabetes which affect the eyes. Be proactive about lighting and make sure that areas around entry doors, hallways, and stairways are well lit. Err on the bright side. Use higher wattage bulbs or add extra lights if needed. Touch lights are a great way to add light to an area not wired for regular lighting. Motion sensor lights let seniors move throughout the home without having to locate or reach for light switches. Glow-in-the-dark switch plates are another good alternative.

Use Hardware, Not Hard Wear
Seniors, particularly those with arthritis, who sometimes struggle to open doors or windows. If your current hardware is proving to be “hard wear” on your loved one, then a simple change might be needed. For instance, lever type door handles are easier to open than round handles which must be gripped more tightly in order to be turned. Crank style window openers can be impossible for some seniors to use.

Restricted Access
Seniors with a cognitive impairment or some form of Dementia must be protected from themselves. It is critical for caregivers to restrict access to dangerous areas without having to stand guard over these seniors 24/7. Childproofing tools such as special door locks or cabinet closures work well for this purpose. Any area containing dangerous items like cleaners, bleach, meds, chemicals, etc., should be secured from your loved one. Door alarms are available at little cost. When set, an alarm will sound if the door is opened.

Move It or Lose It
Seniors need to retain as much mobility as possible. In order to stay mobile indoors, they need to be able to move safely throughout the house. Get rid of tripping hazards like rugs and stair runners, rooms overly cluttered by furnishings, or items which constrict movement through the room. Place a trunk or basket in each shared space for quick storage of toys after play. Perhaps a toy-free zone can be enforced where your senior spends the most time. Alternatively, a senior-free zone can also be set so toys in the floor there are not a falling hazard.

Keep a bench or chair beside entry doors so your loved one can sit to don or remove boots or weather gear. Add a full-height barstool to the kitchen counter area to make it easier for a senior to prep and cook food. If your senior completes grooming in a bedroom, make sure there is a chair or sturdy stool to sit on while drying hair or putting on makeup, etc.

A chair in the bathroom enables a senior to sit to finish drying off without having to bend over and risk overbalancing. Walk-in tubs and showers are safer and easier to use for seniors. Add handrails in the shower, bath, and toilet areas. If you need a bath mat, then purchase one designed to grip the floor. It will present a lesser chance of causing your senior to trip and fall.

Can We Hear Them Now?
The unavoidable truth is that no matter how many safety precautions we take, unexpected accidents do happen. When they happen to our seniors, it’s critical that they be able to call for immediate help. A few minutes of delay can be fatal. You can try a personal emergency response system. Your senior would wear a device as a pendent or bracelet which can be pushed if they need help. A call-assist program is similarly helpful.

If there is no such program in your area, then have your senior keep a cell-phone with him or her at all times. As a last resort, make sure there is a phone in arm’s reach of where your senior spends the most time (recliner, bed, computer desk, etc.).

If your senior enjoys the outdoors, but doesn’t speak fluent cell phone or push-for-help, then purchase a coach’s whistle. Tell your senior to wear it when outdoors and, if help is needed, to blow it and keep blowing it until someone responds. The odds are that the whistle will be heard more easily than a cry for help.

Where to Begin
Seniors fall most often in the bathroom where most surfaces are hard and/or sharp-edged. So, begin in the bathroom. It’s an excellent start toward a home that is not only welcoming, but also safe for your loved one.

For more tips on caring for seniors, visit our senior home care blog.

Home Helpers of Bloomingdale and Wheaton is a locally-owned, trusted home health care agency and offers quality, compassionate senior in-home care services including home care assistance, personal care, companion care, respite care, Alzheimer’s & dementia care as well as homemaker services in Aurora, Bloomingdale, Hoffman Estates, Hanover Park, Wheaton, Bartlett, Itasca, Medinah, Naperville, Plainfield, Roselle, Schaumburg, Warrenville, Mooseheart, West Chicago, and Winfield.