(800) 990-9750

Visiting Elderly Parents – Checklist to Track Their Health and Well-Being

Elementary, My Dear Watson
At some time, you will find yourself wanting to keep abreast of changes in your elderly parents’ health and well-being. This will require a bit of subtle sleuthing and a lot of observation on your part. You might feel a bit like Sneaky Pete, but it’s for your folks’ good. The good news is that you will be watching for changes in their cognitive skills, their health, and the point where they may start to need help.

Be Subtle
Keep your investigations subtle to avoid alarming or offending your parents. Observe their normal routine and keep lots of notes. Your goal is to document changes or problem tasks that may require extra help.

Documentation, Documentation, Documentation!
File your checklists and notes so that it’s easy for you to track down particular information. Some changes are subtle and may require observation over more than one visit to fully notice, and sometimes when a change begins is as important as that the change occurs. Of course, document what is still good and unchanged.

Visit checklist
Basically, watch for any sign of problems with vision, physical health/activity, and cognitive, or thinking, skills.

Physical and mental health
Watch for sudden or rapid weight loss. Do they appear more, or less frail? Can they hold their own during normal conversation? Do they exhibit any odd new behaviors — do they repeat themselves or get noticeably confused over simple things? Have they begun to squint or trip over things more often than usual?

Mobility
Look for any decline in your parents’ driving skills. When they drive, do you feel safe? Do you see any new or unexplained damage to their vehicle? Any evidence or mention of a traffic ticket?

Social skills
Sometimes seniors may withdraw from their normal social life either because they don’t feel as well as they used to, or because they are suffering some degree of lost vision or hearing and social settings exacerbate their discomfort. Or one parent may have suffered the loss of a spouse and they feel uncomfortable in social settings of mixed company.

Watch for a loss of interest in previously favored activities. Is it harder to persuade them to leave the house? Do they keep in touch with their usual friends? If they have been active in church, then are they still so?

Hearth and home
Keep an eye out for changes that may indicate changes in ability rather than a sudden, soul-freeing bohemian outlook on life. Is the house maintained at the usual level of cleanliness and organization? Is mail piled up unopened? Are any unpaid or late notices languishing in the piles?

Can you see any home maintenance issues being left unattended like ceiling level light bulbs left unchanged, drippy faucets, broken appliances still unrepaired or dead forever and still sucking up space?

The kitchen
Check the fridge. Is it clean and stocked with foods that they usually eat? Are out-of-date foods still in the fridge or pantry? Do you see signs of burned cookware, floors, or counters?

Meds
Check for any new prescriptions or supplements. Are meds organized? Does their system facilitate taking meds properly? Check to see if expired meds are found among current ones.

Print this list
Click this link for the checklist and save it to your computer and print it out and take it with you on your visits. Go through the list, check things off and make notes, then file it away for future reference.

For professional and compassionate assistance caring for your loved one, please call Home Helpers or visit our website today.

Home Helpers of Dallas is a locally-owned, trusted home health care agency and offers quality, compassionate senior in-home care services including home care assistance, personal care, companion care, respite care, Alzheimer’s & dementia care as well as homemaker services in Dallas, Richardson, Garland, Plano, Highland Park, University Park, Mesquite, Allen, Carrollton, Irving, Addison, Farmers Branch, Lake Highlands, Duncanville, Desoto, Fairview, Cedar Hill, and McKinney.

Categories

What to Do When Adults with Dementia or Alzheimer’s Ask to Go Home

Taking care of seniors with dementia or Alzheimer’s, though rewarding, can be very frustrating prospect. Seniors often repeat requests to go “home” even while still living in their own homes.

They can get frustrated and agitated when they feel no one is listening to their request or, even more frustrated that their request is heard but then blown off without resolution.

Caregivers can also get frustrated when asked over and over to take a dementia or Alzheimer’s patient home. They must find a way to respond calmly when addressing these requests. An agitated caregiver response is unlikely to calm an agitated senior with Alzheimer’s or dementia.

Since home is, for many of us, our safe place, seniors with various forms of dementia often ask to go there when what they are really trying to communicate is something else. So what are they really asking for and what can caregivers do when ask for it?

3 Tips on How to Respond
Try these methods of response to “I want to go home” when trying to respond in a soothing manner while avoiding further agitation or escalation into a big fight. Don’t get discouraged. Get creative. After all, caregivers often know their loved ones better than others who are not involved in the details of your day to day routine.

These methods may not work the first time, nor every time. You may have to try a few times until you get better at it. Don’t give up! This is hard but gets easier with practice.

Offer Comfort as Well as Reassurance
Use a relaxed and soothing approach. If your body language or tone of voice indicates that you are frustrated or angry, then you will only escalate your loved one’s frustration or fear. Likewise, if you remain calm, they will subconsciously mirror your mood and calm down.

Often your senior will ask to go home as a response to fear or anxiety. This indicates a need for extra comfort. Use your knowledge of your senior to offer something you know is familiar and comforting. Hugging, singing, offering a gentle touch on the arm or shoulder, or just sitting with them can bring about a calming of their fear or anxiety.

You may also offer a favorite blanket, or even a stuffed animal to cuddle.

Avoid Logic and Reasoning
Seniors with dementia or Alzheimer’s are at the mercy of their disease. They must live in the reality in their head and not the reality of the world around them. Trying to explain that they don’t need to go home because they are home will not work, especially if they are only asking to go home because they are afraid or anxious.

Logic and Reasoning will not work on a person with a brain disease since they cannot process the information you are giving them. Also, reasoning with them will often just agitate them further. They may sense that you are just trying to deny them something they see as a need.

Validation, Redirection and Distraction
These techniques are quite challenging. Don’t be hard on yourself if it takes several attempts to perfect them. These are skills that improve with practice.

  1. Validation. Validate your senior’s request by agreeing with them. You can say something along the lines of “Ok, we can go in a few minutes.” or “Sure, we can go as soon as I finish folding the laundry.”
  2. Redirection. After you agree with your senior, try to redirect their attention in a subtle manner. It’s ok if you feel sneaky. Just act casual. Remember, the goal is to redirect your senior’s attention away from going home and toward something pleasant.
  3. Distraction. For example, you could gently take them by the hand while saying, “Ok. Let’s just get your (sweater, shoes, handbag, etc.) and begin walking. Try walking past a window and stopping to point out something beautiful outside such as the birds or something blooming in the garden, or a child playing in a neighbor’s yard. You might then offer them a snack or treat they will like. Later on, you can redirect their attention back to something in their regular daily routine.

You could also try saying, “Ok, just let me get my (sweater, keys, handbag, etc.)” Then distract them with a cup of coffee or a cookie and glass of milk, or segue into a favorite activity.

Try asking them about their home, which will validate their feelings. It will also help them focus on positive memories and, thereby distract them from their desire to go home. Later, redirect their attention to something in their daily routine.

If All Else Fails
On occasion your senior will refuse to be distracted from the idea of going home. If this occurs, then try taking them on a short car ride. After a few times, you can gauge the distance and brevity required before you can return them to their present residence without protest. You can also try stopping for a coffee and pie, or any other distracting treat.

Sometimes it’s impossible to actually take them for an outing, or to get them into a car. Try going through the motions of getting ready. This validates their request and soothes their agitation. It also gives you more opportunities to redirect their attention elsewhere.

At the End of the Day…
When told, “I want to go home,” you must be willing to step into your loved one’s reality in order to respond to the emotion behind the question, and to calm your senior’s anxiety or fear. Until they are soothed, seniors will not give up on their goal of going home.

Call Home Helpers today, or visit our website, for assistance in caring for your loved one with Alzheimer’s or dementia. For more caregiving tips, visit our blog.

Home Helpers of Dallas is a locally-owned, trusted home health care agency and offers quality, compassionate senior in-home care services including home care assistance, personal care, companion care, respite care, Alzheimer’s & dementia care as well as homemaker services in Dallas, Richardson, Garland, Plano, Highland Park, University Park, Mesquite, Allen, Carrollton, Irving, Addison, Farmers Branch, Lake Highlands, Duncanville, Desoto, Fairview, Cedar Hill, and McKinney.

Categories

How to Deal with Denial About Seniors Needing Help

Family Caregivers vs. Denial
When family members refuse to face the fact that their aging loved one needs help, they can create anger, stress, and frustration for family caregivers. Whether it’s a mental or physical need, or both, it’s crucial that their seniors get the care they need.

Denial is often the coping mechanism used to gain time to adjust to a loved one’s decline. People often feel anxiety or fear when trying to face changes in a senior’s condition. Or denial is used as a way to avoid taking responsibility or becoming an active caretaker for that senior. Here are some tips on how to deal with a relative’s denial.

Remain calm and take the high road
Even though you may want to respond to family members’ denial about your parent needing care by dropping a brick on their heads to encourage clarity of sight, it’s best to take the high road and stay above any agitated or argumentative response. Do your best to be calm and understanding with a person in denial. Any sarcastic or angry posture or remarks will only reinforce their stubborn or resistant attitude.

Knowledge is power
Sometimes the root of a relative’s denial is a lack of understanding the situation. Offer them comprehensive educational materials that explain what their senior is facing and what care they will need. For instance, you can ask your parent’s doctor for pamphlets or other materials. You can also find good information on the web and then share the web addresses with your relatives.
Having access to doctor’s reports and really understanding the nature of your loved one’s condition will help relatives avoid stereotypical myths and focus on what is actually needed — like well-deserved help for your senior and for you!

Seek expert advice
Some family members refuse to acknowledge the need for help. As long as they don’t admit there’s a need, then, for them, there isn’t one. Maybe they won’t believe you entirely or, perhaps, not at all. Often, family members think caregivers are exaggerating the situation or campaigning for unneeded help. Or they might just refuse to believe whatever information you give them, but be willing to believe an impartial expert, instead.

Try to meet together with a credible expert that understands the situation such as your parent’s doctor or minister, or an elder mediator or care manager. An expert may just reinforce what you’ve already said but, for whatever reason, be perceived as more credible to a sibling or other family member. Don’t take it personally if that happens. Just be grateful that it worked and that your senior will get the care they need.

The bottom line
Is it fair for you to have to be both mediator and caregiver all by yourself? No. Try the suggested techniques to convince relatives that your senior (and you, too!) require more help. If you are unable to help family members out of their denial, then take them out of the equation and move on. If nothing else, you’ll have the relief of no longer banging your head against their denial.

For professional and compassionate assistance caring for your loved one, please call Home Helpers or visit our website today.

Home Helpers of Dallas is a locally-owned, trusted home health care agency and offers quality, compassionate senior in-home care services including home care assistance, personal care, companion care, respite care, Alzheimer’s & dementia care as well as homemaker services in Dallas, Richardson, Garland, Plano, Highland Park, University Park, Mesquite, Allen, Carrollton, Irving, Addison, Farmers Branch, Lake Highlands, Duncanville, Desoto, Fairview, Cedar Hill, and McKinney.

Categories

Memory Loss – Senior Moment or Alzheimer’s Indicator?

The most common symptom of Alzheimer’s Disease and dementia is forgetfulness, but not all instances of memory loss or forgetfulness is a sign of the disease. So how can you tell the difference between dementia and normal memory lapses due to aging? While the differences can be subtle, there are ways of detecting it.

Signs of Dementia Related Memory Loss

Here are some of the more common signs:

  • The Memory Loss Affects Daily Tasks: senior care is not required if the person just forgets a name and recalls it later. However it is another story if the individual fails to remember daily appointments or if people say you’ve asked for something several times over. Another serious sign is if you suddenly forget a skill you know very well (i.e. cooking, drawing, playing the guitar etc.).
  • Inability to Think Clearly: everyone gets confused at some point when accounting or making plans, but it’s another thing if this happens frequently. For elderly people who are suddenly unable to manage  their checkbook or make plans for the day, some help may be necessary. The fact is most diagnosis of Alzheimer’s usually starts because the person is having trouble balancing their checkbooks.
  • Difficulty with Step Retracing: as home health care specialists will point out, one of the more common signs of dementia is the inability to retrace their steps. Even though we may misplace an item, it is not that difficult to go over a few steps back and get it. A sign of dementia is being unable to do this.
  • Unable to Find the Right Words: all of us have at some point had that tip of the tongue moment, when we are searching for a word but just cannot remember what it is. This is normal and happens every now and then, but it’s another story if it happens often. If it reaches the point it affects your daily activities, it’s time to seek assistance.
  • Forgetting the Time and Your Location: normal memory loss should not cause you to forget the time or where you are. Frequently forgetting the time is inconvenient and will affect your work, and forgetting your sense of location can be frightening and dangerous. These are not normal and require the help from a doctor.

Dementia and Normal Memory Loss

Doctors agree that a certain level of forgetfulness is common with aging. Typically, regular memory loss means having a difficult time recalling new information you have just acquired like the name of someone you were introduced to days ago. Difficulty remembering names, dates and events that took place several years ago is normal too and not a sign of dementia.

Dementia signs and symptoms involve more extreme forms of forgetfulness. Aside from the instances already mentioned, signs of dementia include forgetting the basics like putting on your shoes before going to work, whether you have eaten or not, where you are going or have been too, etc. Those are the kinds of situations that require in-home care because they are probably symptoms of dementia.

The question now is, what does one do? The answer is to take careful note of the situation and if it worsens. If you just forget or misplace your keys, it’s not a big deal. However if you’re out on your daily walk and you temporarily forget where you are, it’s better to consult a doctor. Family members who notice these symptoms affecting a loved one should seek help to determine the cause.

The good thing about talking with experts is they can rule out other possible causes of forgetfulness like stroke, head injuries, depression, and alcoholism among others. Speaking with a doctor, you will be asked the pertinent questions that will determine the root cause of the problem and arrive at the best possible solution.

Caregivers must not only take care of the person but learn as much as they can about the condition. A lot of the stress and frustration that comes with the job arises from lack of information about what is happening, so increasing your knowledge will help. With the proper home care, steps can be taken to help a person deal with memory loss caused by dementia.

If you need any help caring for a loved one dealing with memory loss caused by dementia, contact us or visit our website for more information.

Home Helpers of Dallas is a locally-owned, trusted home health care agency and offers quality, compassionate senior in-home care services including home care assistance, personal care, companion care, respite care, Alzheimer’s & dementia care as well as homemaker services in Dallas, Richardson, Garland, Plano, Highland Park, University Park, Mesquite, Allen, Carrollton, Irving, Addison, Farmers Branch, Lake Highlands, Duncanville, Desoto, Fairview, Cedar Hill, and McKinney.

Categories

© Copyright 2025 H. H. Franchising Systems, Inc, All Rights Reserved.