If I Get Dementia: A Wish List for Families, Friends & Caregivers
Author: Debbie Humphrey
I can’t begin to tell you how many clients with dementia our compassionate caregivers have assisted over the years. It’s not too many to count, but it is too many. Dementia is complex, challenging, and unique for each individual who navigates it.
November has an extensive list of awareness themes that pertain to Home Helpers and many families in West Pasco and Pinellas Counties. Of all of these, the recognition of Alzheimer’s Awareness is one of the most important, especially for families and caregivers of seniors with Alzheimer’s disease (AD) or other forms of dementia.
The Alzheimer’s Association says, “(AD) is a growing public health crisis in Florida. The impact of Alzheimer’s is projected to rise.” According to their most recent data:
- 580,000 people aged 65 and older are living with Alzheimer’s in Florida.
- 18.6% of people aged 45 and older have subjective cognitive decline.
- 870,000 family caregivers provide essential support to people living with dementia in Florida.
The Alzheimer’s Society explains further, “Dementia is a condition where problems with memory or other types of thinking make it hard for a person to do everyday activities by themselves. It can be caused by several different diseases that affect the brain. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common cause of dementia.”
The burden on family and professional caregivers is substantial, so when I saw the following social media post, I immediately saved it to share with you, caregivers, and family members of aging adults living with Alzheimer’s. “If I Get Dementia” is a wish list for families, friends, and caregivers, and a variation of a poem by Rachael Wonderlin that was originally published in the Alzheimer’s Reading Room, with an abbreviated version found on Dementia by Day.
If I Get Dementia
If I get dementia, I’d like my family, friends, and caregivers to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things.
1. If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.
2. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
3. If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
4. If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
5. If I get dementia and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
6. If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
7. If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
8. If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
9. If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.
10. If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
11. If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
12. If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now, if I don’t eat, I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.
13. If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
14. If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you or choose a great new place for me to live.
15. If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.
16. If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.
17. If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.
18. If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.
19. If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
20. If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
21. If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.
During National Alzheimer’s Awareness Month and over the upcoming holidays, please include your loved ones with Alzheimer’s or dementia, or if that is not possible, consider hiring a Home Helpers Alzheimer’s-certified caregiver who is professionally trained to manage specialized care.
Many caregivers on my care team have received specialized training and are highly experienced in dementia care, so they know what to do and how to respond in various scenarios.
It would be my pleasure to meet you and your loved one with Alzheimer’s or dementia during a FREE Consultation to determine what specialized care services will be required, so I can match the most experienced dementia caregiver to help.
We, at Home Helpers® Clearwater, are honored to have been ranked among the Activated Insights Top 100 Leaders in Experience for home care providers in 2025 and to have received the Best of Home Care® Provider of Choice, the Best of Home Care® Employer of Choice, and the Best of Home Care® Leader in Experience Awards in 2025, along with the Caring Super Star 2025 Award.
Home Helpers Clearwater proudly serves male and female seniors, veterans, and differently abled individuals in Bayonet Point, Clearwater, Clearwater Beach, Dunedin, Gulfport, Holiday, Hudson, Largo, Madeira Beach, New Port Richey, North Redington Beach, Oldsmar, Palm Harbor, Pass A Grille, Pass A Grille Beach, Port Richey, Redington Shores, Safety Harbor, Saint Petersburg, Seminole, South Pasadena, Tarpon Springs, Tierra Verde, Treasure Island, Trinity, and surrounding areas. Home Helpers®…we are Making Life Easier® 727.942.2539
Sources: