Regardless of how the event is characterized, an elderly patient can believe they are facing a situation in which a difficult choice has to be made – a choice transgressing a moral principle. Often, these events or dilemmas are a result of gaslighting, a practice that involves manipulating someone into doubting their own memory or reality. Gaslighting is unethical, harmful, morally wrong, and detrimental, especially when directed at the elderly. It can lead to mental health breakdowns, physical pain, behavior disorders, suicidality, criminality, and in some cases the death of the patient or a loved one.
Gaslighting (intentional or unintentional) can erode trust and damage relationships with family, friends, and even caregivers. With the upcoming political season, conspiracy theories, and questions around the mental fitness of candidates, the patient can become confused, mistrust their preferred news network, suspect their favorite commentator, distrust the internet, and social media sites. Something as simple as an overheard conversation by a family member can trigger confusion, especially if the discussion highlights pros and cons that challenge a patient’s long-held beliefs. Many seniors (the elderly) become anxious and find it stressful if they are challenged to evolve or change – especially if they feel the world they know is falling apart around them.
Gaslighting is an abusive practice. Many of the elderly face challenges such as cognitive decline, physical health issues, and social isolation. Gaslighting this population enflames low self-esteem, anxiety, fear, apprehension, and long-term trauma. Despite feeling something is wrong, or knowing their emotions are being played upon, many victims continue to have a baseless dependency on, and belief in, the sources they trust. Though most perpetrators are someone known, gaslighting can come from newspapers, radio, magazines, television, journalists, social media sites, internet sites, trusted organizations, and clergy.
Seniors and the elderly have lived a long life – good or bad. They have seen a lot and experienced a lot - which can make them “set in their ways.” Gaslighting this population, particularly the physically challenged, mentally challenged, scapegoated, disenfranchised, mentally, physically, or financially stressed is especially cruel. “Gaslighting is an insidious form of manipulation and psychological control. Victims of gaslighting are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves” - (Psychology Today, 2017). Elder abuse and bullying can be a form of gaslighting.
Because gaslighting is so threatening, be aware of the signs; denial of the truth, questioning long-held beliefs, fear of people, places and things once believed in and respected, and constant shifting of blame. If you suspect your patient is a victim of gaslighting, offer support, encourage communication, and share your concerns with the patient’s family, physician, counselor, and/or therapist.